When people meet my best friend for the first time, they would be forgiven for thinking her a shy and retiring person, one given to isolation and not bothering with other people’s lives.
Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. In her approach to middle age, Lisa McGarry has chosen to live vicariously through my life.
To be fair, this behavior isn’t actually a new thing. I recall the time she wrote to “Mr Nestle” under my name, explaining (in an obviously retarded grammar and vernacular) that I would love to meet him and I had a fascination for Kit Kats, borne from my grief during the unfortunate time my father tried to hit the swimming instructor, for nailing my mother at Butlins. I may still have the Kit Kat wrapper they sent me in return.
I think I also have the letter Bella magazine sent me to see if I would appear in an article about long-distance love, seeing as how “I” had sent them a letter, detailing my latest tryst. Not to mention the time Lisa attempted, and succeeded, to sell me on Ebay.
This is her latest, and some might say greatest, wind-up. I never said I would ask Abby (correct spelling) to marry me, as wonderful as she is. If you’re interested, here’s a saved messenger conversation that Lisa and I had, the day she posted. I like to call it The Big M.
And so, I am filled with a mix of emotions. I laughed for a long time after reading the post; my friend has always, and will always, make me laugh. I am peeved (“Of course”, says Lisa, or what would be the point?) that a decision I never made has been broadcast, but who cares, it’s funny. Most poignant of all however, have been the responses. How fantastic to know that people would take such an interest and give such serious and heartfelt comments. Thank You. Now, go round and egg Lisa’s windows for leading you up the garden path.